To Be Or Not To Be.. Single


“As a self described idealist, I never consider myself as single. I like to say that I’m in between romances at the moment.” – Carl Henegan


You hear it in bar stool stories and coffee shop murmurs, quips of passing conversations on your walk home. Young women talk with heads tucked together and hands fidgeting. Eventually, they reach a conclusion: sometimes, being single simply sucks.


We live in the age of social media, where everyone shares what they had for breakfast, how their kids did on a spelling test, and my personal favorite, the past, present, and future state of their relationship. It’s hard to see happy couples plastered across your feed when you’re busy filling your time googling how do people meet people these days?


There’s a stigma that comes with being single, a pressure to find someone new. We hear stories of chance encounters leading to first dates and eventually more. It’s easy to image that ‘movie scene’ in our minds, but so much harder to be patient for it in real life.


In my experience, the best relationships are built on mutual support. It’s nice to know you have someone in your corner regardless of what you’re doing, thinking, saying, or how stupidly you’re acting. There’s always someone to run errands with or to spend a Sunday morning with. As human beings, we like to feel needed and to be needed and often, a relationship gives us just that.


So, if relationships make us feel good, shouldn’t being single make us feel bad? The world works in balance, and I’m all for a good equilibrium, but this one is frustrating. I wrote a few lines above that sometimes, being single sucks. That statement, however, offers the possibility that sometimes, being single doesn’t suck.


This summer is most likely the last where most of my friends will all be in the same area. That being said, I can’t fight the urge to put everything I’ve got into those relationships: the kids I grew up with, the girls who’ve been my family for the past four years. My time is filled with evenings at the beach or at the bar, days hiking and adventuring. We laugh and remember and in those moments I get to be completely, unapologetically myself, with people who love me for that. So, for now, for me, being single doesn’t suck. Being single gives me time and opportunity and choice.


So, if you happen to be single and find yourself experiencing moments of frustration, gritting your teeth and groaning how you just want to like someone again, recognize that moment for what it is, and then let it pass. Your relationship status should be the least of your worries. Instead, put your time and energy into things you care about. I have to believe that the rest will fall into place.

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