Everyone says that the ‘college years’ are the best years of your life. They’re a time to go out and explore the world and to explore the people in it. They’re a time to form relationships and fall in love, whether it’s with the wrong person or the right one.
I went into college already involved in a serious relationship. He was going down to Florida for school and I was staying close to home. We had 1,500 miles of distance between us, yet I was hopeful. While some might say naive, I say romantic. It still hurts me, even though some time has passed, to say that our relationship has ended, especially because it was both unexpected and far from what I wanted. I have, however, learned to accept that sometimes matters are out of your control.
Starting my last semester of college, and looking back at this relationship that I was a part of over the past four years, has forced me to consider something. I don’t regret a single moment and I doubt that I ever will. Having a long distance relationship while in college was one of the best things that could have happened to me. It’s hard to explain and I’m certain it’s just as difficult to understand, but I’m going to share these thoughts, in hope that someone who can connect gets something from them. That, my thoughts might help someone else through something like what I’ve been through.
I can’t count the number of times during college I texted my boyfriend, thankful that our relationship was strong and honest- that I had someone to share the milestones with. Watching the ‘college dating scene’ unfold around me, I felt relief. I had something real, something that I could rely on. However, I also had independence. I had time for myself. While being apart from the person you love is terrible, it also forces you to be your own person. I gained experiences, immersed myself in my passions, and formed meaningful relationships with people who have proven themselves to be the most dedicated friends. Learning how to find my own happiness made all the difference. I’m better because of it.
Reflecting on the past four years, I’ve realized something interesting. I’m a remarkable person. Now, I hope you don’t think I’ve gone and gotten a big head when I say that, but I think it’s important that I do. I believe that there are remarkable women out there, who have forgotten it is so, because they have chosen to rely too heavily on others to hold their worth. Will I miss the unconditional love and support that my dedicated and honest relationship held? Absolutely. Will I miss the person who was not only a partner but also a best friend? Always. I won’t, however, remember our relationship in vain. The reasons that caused our relationship to end hold no power in comparison to the things I’ve gained from the time we had together, and apart.
When my grandparents heard the news that I was, to put it honestly, dumped, my grandmother said they were surprised. Then, after a moment, she told me how my grandfather smiled. “She’s my granddaughter,” he said. “For her, the sun will rise tomorrow.” I’m glad that I can say that he was right. The person who, for awhile, was the love of my life, let me go. I still hurt and I still cry and I can’t imagine that my heart will be whole again anytime soon. But in the end, the sun will rise tomorrow, and it’ll be a bright and warm day.
I urge anyone out there, girl or boy, who is going through a breakup to consider that you, as an individual, are just as powerful, if not more so, than the part you hold in any relationship. And to those in relationships, don’t let it define you. Share it and enjoy it and be all in- just remember who you are in the process.